


Let The Soft Animal Of Your Body Love What It Loves

by winter156



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:42:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29797638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winter156/pseuds/winter156
Summary: Collection of vignettes about falling in love.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 5
Kudos: 59





	Let The Soft Animal Of Your Body Love What It Loves

Nothing extraordinary marks the moment.

Kara is trying to stifle laughter, mouth half full, blue eyes shining with happiness.

Lena’s answering smile is automatic and genuine. Her heart is warm and full.

Their eyes lock and Lena’s mind stalls. She has seen Kara’s blue gaze hundreds of times, but on the precipice of realization her mind insists it’s the gaze of someone other than Kara.

Lena’s world narrows.

And then the world slams back into place. Hard, clear, but somehow all wrong. Lena finally sees her. Really _sees_ Kara. It’s in the slant on her smile and the depth of the blue, blue eyes.

 _Oh_.

The smile slips from Lena’s face.

Silence stretches between them.

“Lena,” Kara says softly, “are you okay?” Her brow is creased and she’s worrying her bottom lip. But, she hasn’t stood, hasn’t moved at all. Lena can see her shoulders are hunched and that she is trying to shrink her presence as much as possible.

Lena doesn’t have words for the feeling that spreads through her at the question and the body language. It’s intense and visceral and wholly engulfing; something she hasn’t felt for anyone is a very long time.

But Lena’s heart feels heavy in her chest with the new knowledge of _who_ Kara is. Sudden pressure beats viciously at her temples.

Lena takes a deep breath before opening her eyes to look at Kara again. “Supergirl…”

Kara seems to shrink further into the chair. Her eyes are screwed shut and she’s biting her lip hard enough to risk drawing blood.

“I have to get back to work,” she says, flatly, for lack of anything else to say. Her face is blank, her eyes hard.

* * *

This is all they are.

All they’ve ever been.

Kara: the last. Standing alone in the vast universe. Facing the future of solitude with head turned and eyes wide open looking at the past. Broken so thoroughly on the inside that love pours out of her like blood out of an open wound.

She tries to talk to Lena for days. She tries as Kara and is rebuffed by meetings and conflicts of schedule. She tries as Supergirl and Lena shuts her balcony doors and draws the shades. She retreats out of respect for Lena and her own dignity. But, the loss punctures her already broken heart and she bleeds love and anguish into her loneliness.

Lena: the orphan. Unbowed but her eyes closed and face covered. Forever repenting over a sin she did not commit. Broken so thoroughly throughout that guilt and shame crawl into every crevice of her being like water entering the lungs of a drowning man.

She hides in her fortress and behind her name. She has been made to look and feel a fool. She rejects Kara both the woman and the hero to lick her deep wounds in solitude. But, the loss punctures her already broken heart and betrayal and suspicion flood into her loneliness.

This is all they are.

All they’ll ever be.

* * *

“Lena,” Kara is breathless, “plea—”

Lena’s lips stop any further conversation. She doesn’t want to talk. She doesn’t want to feel.

They’ve fallen into _this_ quite by accident. But at least she has some part of Kara back. She doesn’t want the messy conversation and the messier emotions that will come with talking.

This _thing_ they’ve turned into isn’t good but it feels good in the moment.

They never undress. Their clandestine meetings are always done against a convenient surface with pants haphazardly open and skirts bunched up against thighs and waist, with urgent, searching, hungry hands hidden beneath the flowing folds of fabric.

There is no warmth or affection in their touches. Only desperation and urgency. And rabid hunger.

The heat and passion burns and consumes them until they are only incandescent desire.

Afterwards, they can’t look each other in the eyes. Kara stumbles over her words in a rush to find anything to say besides the obvious; Lena retreats into herself and says nothing. They go days without seeing each other, actively avoiding one another. Because they hate what they do to each other. They hate the hunger and thirst. They hate the release and satisfaction.

Though neither will ever admit it, it’s those secret, stolen moments when there is a possibility of _more_ that they are both truly alive.

* * *

With tears in her eyes, Kara stops them.

“I can’t, Lena.” She pulls Lena’s hand gently out of her pants. “This,” she motions between them, “is killing us. We can’t anymore.”

Lena recoils, her heart throbbing with pain she doesn’t understand. She turns to leave but a soft hand clasps hers.

“Can we try and be friends again?” It’s a plea.

Lena’s heart pounds in her chest and her eyes burn with unshed tears. “How can I trust you?” She doesn’t turn back, but Lena holds on to Kara’s hand tightly.

“Let me earn it back,” Kara’s voice cracks. “Let me prove myself to you.”

It shouldn’t be so easy. Lena shouldn’t let it be so easy. But, she’s tired of the guilt and the shame and the pain. She relents and for the first time in as long as she can remember, she allows hope to seep into the crevices of her broken heart.

* * *

 _How did it get this far?_ Lena thinks absently.

It is different than before. Lena _feels_ different than before. She’s not angry or hurting. She’s feeling _a lot_ but none of it negative.

“It wasn’t supposed to go this far.”

Kara hums but doesn’t say anything coherent.

It had started with innocent touches. A gentle brush of fingers across a heated forehead. A tight hug as a reminder of solidity. A fleeting kiss for comfort.

Innocuous.

Innocent.

The rekindling of their friendship, nothing more.

But somewhere from there to here, something had stopped being so harmless about the touches. Fingers sparked electricity that set skin on fire. Hugs brought an awareness of how bodies fit together. Kisses were explorations with a ravenous hunger fueling their intent.

And, here she is now, willingly pressed against soft cushions. Kara’s weight a solid anchor above her. Kara’s mouth hot against her own. Kara’s hands undressing her, for the first time. Kara’s fingers burning a trail up her thigh.

Here she is pressing against her, opening her mouth, her knees, her being to Kara’s exploration. Here she is writhing under a wet heat that is all consuming, clenching her teeth to keep from moaning the name tattooed on her heart.

It wasn’t supposed to go this far.

But, it is too good to stop. She is too close to _something_ …

* * *

It’s an obsession.

Lena knows it.

Kara knows it.

But, they can’t help themselves. They are possessed of something that controls their motivation, and in turn their actions. Every opportune moment becomes heated, passionate, thrilling with the press of skin against skin.

They are ravenous and insatiable, each meeting driving the obsession deeper. But, they continue. Because, obsession can be exhausted, overcome, spent when the object of obsession no longer holds the desired quality. And, that’s what they want: to exhaust this hunger one for the other.

Or so, they force themselves to think.

They only acknowledge the obsession. It’s not an addiction.

And, it can’t possibly be love.

* * *

Lena rubs her chest to chase away the pressure building under her sternum. It isn’t painful…just…uncomfortable. Overwhelming. A bit like holding her breath too long and her lungs needing to expand to their fullest to take in sufficient air. It makes her lightheaded and it makes her heart stumble over itself.

It’s an odd sensation, though not unfamiliar. Kara seems to elicit it from her as easily as the sun rises in the east. As constant, too.

Warm hands press a square box into Lena’s hands. “Open it.” The command is light. And, the kiss that flutters against her cheek is incentive enough to do Kara’s bidding immediately. But, the second, firmer kiss stuns her into inaction.

And the feeling jammed between her lungs and her heart intensifies. It hurts in the best possible way, like seeing light after a dark night, like tasting water after a long drought, like feeling warmth after a cold winter.

Breath caught between the tightness and warmth of her chest, Lena succumbs to the unsettling—but not entirely unwelcome—sensation.

_Happiness._

* * *

Lena closes her book and looks down. Of course Kara is asleep. It’s a warm autumn day, the picnic they brought with them is all eaten, the colorful plumage of leaves quiet the world beyond the copse of trees where they’re secluded. Kara is comfortable around her. Lena smiles and reaches down to play absently with the blonde hair.

This closeness. This intimacy. It’s effortless with Kara. She can’t remember why she ever thought it would be otherwise. Kara’s warmth and caring would ensure nothing else.

Lena’s heart flutters dangerously with an emotion she’s not sure how to categorize. It’s love, certainly. But a love that aches with longing she doesn’t understand…it’s like a hunger, a thirst, for something she can’t name.

The ambiguity of the emotion should worry her, but she can’t find it within herself to care.

She loves Kara; it makes very little difference if she’s falling in love with her.

* * *

Kara’s eyes are almost completely closed and her chest is still heaving from exertion.

Lena’s fingertips glide along the thin sheen of perspiration coating soft skin stopping above Kara’s heart. The smell of heat and sex assaults Lena’s senses. It makes her dizzy in a way she can’t quite describe.

Guilt lingers at the edges of her psyche. For not seeing sooner what was being offered her. For hurting them. She can feel the press of it against the pleasure of this moment. But, for the first time since she was a child, she pushes thought of consequences out of her mind. Kara captivates all of her attention because she is the person Lena loves most. And, Lena is famished for her. _More_ is all she can think. It crowds everything else out.

It’s a hunger she can’t sate: the need to touch and be touched. She’s been so starved for it that the realization of the desire leaves her yearning and needy for more. But, she’s not practiced at asking. So, she hopes her need is transmitted across the pads of her fingers and the hitch of her breath and the dilation of her eyes.

“Again.” Kara whispers, hearing what Lena can’t say with words.

And, they possess and are possessed of the other.

* * *

Kara leans back into Lena.

Lena wraps her arms around her and wonders at the easiness of their intimacy.

Kara smiles her gaze warm and contented and relaxed.

Lena kisses her unexpectedly because she wants to and she can. Kara momentarily freezes, but the smile against her lips encourages her to return the kiss.

The intimacy—the comfort of touch—didn’t come immediately or with ease for them. At times, it still doesn’t.

But, moments like this, where Lena is exuberant and shining from the feeling of her own happiness, are all the more precious for it. The touches and the comfort and the intimacy are effortless in the confines of Lena’s joy.

* * *

Theirs is an easy intimacy, filled with small touches and warm smiles. It is an odd thing to witness for people who knew them as children. They were both so solitary and disliked being touched when they were young. Kara for fear of hurting anyone; and Lena for fear of anyone hurting her.

But with each other, there is no barrier restricting access. They are wholly together; one flows into the other. So much so that a smile from one is reflected on the other’s face; and a touch is felt against the other’s soft skin.

They are so close that when one closes her eyes the other dreams.

* * *

It happens at an innocuous moment.

A moment they’ve repeated countless times. A shared lunch in Lena’s office: Lena between meetings, and Kara between interviews.

Nothing extraordinary marks the moment.

Kara is trying to stifle laughter, mouth half full, blue eyes shining with happiness.

Lena’s answering smile is automatic and genuine. She watches as Kara swallows the mouthful of food and washes it down with a gulp of water.

“You’re a bottomless pit,” Lena is equally amused and impressed by Kara’s appetite.

Kara smiles and shrugs. “I skipped breakfast and I’m starving.” She lets out a small laugh, hands fluttering and smoothing out non-existent wrinkles on her pants, before she looks back up.

Their eyes lock and Lena’s mind stalls. She has seen Kara’s blue gaze hundreds of times, but on the precipice of realization her heart stops.

 _Oh_.

“Lena,” Kara says softly, “are you okay?”

Lena sees Kara’s brows crease in worry at what she knows must be the pronounced changes in her heartbeat. Lena recalls every step of their journey to this moment. She remembers every touch and every word and every feeling. And every declaration of love Kara has been making with her words, her affection, and her touches.

 _Oh_.

She walks around her desk and sits in Kara’s lap. Lena knows her smile is wide and happy, she can see it reflected on Kara’s face. She kisses her with all the awe of being in love and knowing it.

“I love you.”


End file.
